So today is my birthday. I try not to make a big deal about it tbh but this year I feel that I had to impart some wisdom to go along with my advancing years 😉
Today I feel as if I have officially reached that middle age milestone. I don’t particularly feel 45, not in the slightest, although the way my body ceases up on occasion would probably disagree with me. I sometimes look in the mirror and think the person staring back at me couldn’t possible be me as there is no way I look that old 😉 Internally I still feel the same as I did when I was 25 but with a lot more life experience to call upon. I love the song below even though I feel as if I am going to cry every time I hear it – yes life really does move that quickly.
Have I changed as a person in the last 20 years. Yes, I like to think I have FINALLY discovered the real me under all the expectations and pressures exerted from external forces for most of my life. I am no longer afraid to be myself, this probably doesn’t seem like a big thing to you but growing up I always felt as if I didn’t fit, now I’ve found my own path that makes me happy and I like to think it doesn’t really matter what others think as long as I am happy.
Is my life where I thought it would be when I pictured it as a 25-year-old about to get married. NO, again not in the slightest. I would never have imagined the direction my life would take with the alcohol addiction of my ex-husband and subsequent separation and debt incurred due to his alcoholism. Yet, I can honestly say I am far more content than I would have expected. It really hit home the difference between being alone and being lonely. Even though I was part of a couple and later a family, I always felt it was a struggle and wasn’t a true reflection of the things I wanted. A large part probably due to capitulating to the ex; there was always a part of me that still didn’t feel as if I fit and I made myself very miserable trying to be the person I thought I should be for other people.
It took the break-up of my marriage for me to realise that I was a lot stronger than I had previously given myself credit for. Don’t get me wrong, things are still tought especially financially BUT emotionally they are so much better than I would have hoped for. I am hugely grateful for my three girls, another thing I could never have pictured 20 years ago ♥
So the wisdom I wanted to impart:
- Things really do happen for a reason even if you can’t see it at the time.
- BE YOURSELF!!!!
- You don’t realise how strong you are until you have to be.
- Celebrate every little achievement – this was huge for me – even down to emptying the rubbish or cooking a full meal. Some days are HARD and celebrating the little things rather than the things that didn’t get done makes all the difference.
- Be POSITIVE – it sounds like hooky but it really does work. Positivity generates positive things and the opposite is also true so don’t take the chance.
- Use moisturizer and body lotion. I know it probably sounds shallow but it makes your skin so much better and it’s a small way of helping your self-confidence/self-esteem.
- Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and a natural anti-depressant. Something I forgot for a while and paid a high price for with increased incidents of depression and low self-esteem as well as the physical price of weight gain.
- DO NOT USE SUNBEDS!!!!
- Always use sunscreen. If you want to look tanned, and let’s be honest we all look better/slimmer with a tan, then use self tan. Again it’s a great and cheap way to boost self-confidence.
- As much as possible avoid toxic people and eliminate them from your live if you can – see previous information regarding ex 😉
- Ladies take the time to shave your legs even in the winter 😉 You never know when you want to wear a skirt and again it boosts self-confidence 😀
- I know you don’t want to believe it but all the junk you eat in your teens/twenties really will make you pay when your in your forties.
- ENJOY EVERY MOMENT ♥